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Writer's pictureAshley Allison

The Guilt and Expectations of a Working Mom in Leadership




In this era, being a working mom in a leadership position presents both significant rewards and challenges. As women continue to break barriers and ascend to leadership positions, they often grapple with a profound sense of guilt. This guilt stems from the dual demands of professional success and family responsibilities. This internal conflict can be overwhelming and deserves to be discussed more often.

The Weight of Expectations


As a working mom in a leadership role, the expectations can feel insurmountable. On the one hand, there’s the expectation to excel in your career, make impactful decisions, and lead teams effectively. On the other hand, there’s the societal pressure to be a present and nurturing parent, attend every school event, help with homework, and be emotionally available for your children. These conflicting demands can create a relentless cycle of guilt.


At work, it’s easy to feel like you’re neglecting your family. You might miss a soccer game or a school play, and the pang of guilt can haunt you. Conversely, when you’re home with your children, your mind might drift to pending projects or upcoming meetings, making it hard to engage fully. This tug-of-war can lead to a constant feeling of inadequacy as if you’re never fully meeting the expectations of either role.


The Guilt Factor

Guilt is a powerful emotion that can lead to self-doubt and burnout. Many working moms in leadership positions experience an internal dialogue that questions their choices: “Am I spending enough quality time with my kids?” or “Is my team getting the support they need?” This guilt can be exacerbated by societal narratives that glorify the idea of the ‘perfect’ mother or the ‘ideal’ leader, leaving little room for the complexities of real life.


The truth is that perfection is an unrealistic standard. Every working mom has her unique journey and struggles. It’s essential to recognize that feeling guilty doesn’t mean you’re failing; it simply reflects your immense pressure and love for your career and your children.


 

Finding Balance



While guilt may be an inevitable part of the journey, finding ways to manage it is essential. Here are some strategies that can help:


1. Set Realistic Expectations: Understand that you can’t do everything. Prioritize your responsibilities and recognize that it’s okay to say no sometimes at work and home. Delegating tasks inside and outside of work will help you focus on what’s in front of you. 


2. Quality Over Quantity: Focus on the quality of time spent with your children rather than the quantity. Engaging fully during the time you have can create meaningful memories and connections.


3. Communicate Openly: Talk to your family about your responsibilities and challenges. Open communication can help them understand your situation and reduce feelings of guilt.


4. Seek Support: Build a support network of fellow working moms, mentors, or family members who understand your struggles. Sharing experiences can provide comfort and practical advice.


5. Practice Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself. Acknowledge your efforts and celebrate your achievements at work and home. Remember that being a working mom is a challenging yet fulfilling journey.


 

Embracing Your Journey


Ultimately, the guilt that working moms in leadership experience is part of a broader narrative about balancing career ambitions with family life. It’s essential to embrace your journey, recognizing that both roles enrich your life differently. Your leadership skills can positively impact your family, and the lessons you learn at home can enhance your professional capabilities.


In conclusion, while the feelings of guilt and the weight of expectations can be heavy, they are not insurmountable. Working moms can navigate their dual roles confidently and gracefully by prioritizing self-care, setting realistic goals, and fostering open communication. Remember, you are not alone in this struggle, and every day is an opportunity to redefine what success looks like for you—both as a leader and a mother.


Remember, mamas out there, you got this!


If you would like guidance and support navigating this current season of life, feel free to book a Discover call to start your leadership coaching journey with me.





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